I came home yesterday as pleased as punch with myself.
I have successfully bought myself 2 outfits and two pairs of boots for a hundred and twenty bucks!
Unbelievable I know, a store was closing down and were getting rid of pieces as low as ten dollars each...
A tunic style top, pants, long sleeve shirt dress, leggings, another black top and the two pairs of boots, one black and the other tan.Amazing!
Imagine my joy!
Anyway, I also bought some things for presents to put away for people, bought myself a coffee and was quite chuffed until I got home and realized the hubby was home!
Shit!
It's not like I was worried about getting in trouble for my splurge ( ok, well maybe a little ) it was more that I was so excited and wanted the feeling to last and not be squashed by the negatives of "Where is the room in the budget..?"
"Nice for some of us to be out shopping while the rest of us work", "You don't see me out buying new clothes" In the gruff Dad type tone, yadda yadda yadda, you know the spiel.
I just wanted to bask for a while in high of the purchase and be proud for a while of the great deal hunter that I was.I don't know about you, but I love the thrill of the discount buy and the smell of new fabric and the sweetness of the store attendant as she slips your new things into an enviro bag.
So...
I hid them.
I was like a little kid, squishing everything into one bag and shoving them under the picnic rug in the boot of my car until later, when I planned to sneak them into the house and disperse them into drawers and cupboard to be later referred to as 'that old thing' or, 'I got it for ten bucks ages ago...'
Later in the evening, the kids are in bed, the dishes are done and I'm starting to lounge in front of the telly. Hubby comes out and hands me a wine and comments that he's in need of some new shirts and shorts and wouldn't be nice to have time to shop...
I smile and nod my head and murmur that I could have a look for him after work one day during the week and switch to talking about upcoming events, totally nonplussed.
The next morning...
I've juggled the morning chaos hour, made lunches, gotten ready for work, scrambled to get out the door on time to get the kids to school and to go to work and I go to get into the front seat of the car and...
On the front drivers seat is my huge bag with all my beautiful things folded neatly and perched upright, leaning on the steering wheel!
BUSTED!
I laughed out loud and then drove off wondering what I'll say tonight....
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Do you shop yourself cents-less? Have you hidden clothes in the wardrobe before your partner got home or marked down the tags on things you’ve bought to make them look cheaper? Have you ever felt sick or guilty after a day out shopping? How far will a girl go to have the things she loves? And what is wrong with shopping anyway!?
Why do we lie about what we buy?
Our beautiful new dress, shoes, make-up or fragrance gets rushed in amongst the dry cleaning or stuffed into a drawer before anyone can scrutinize it.
What is it that motivates us to be dishonest about our latest purchase?
Do we feel so ashamed of ourselves that we want to pretend that the enormous shopping high we felt a few short hours ago never happened?
I don’t think so.
It is because of that high that we are motivated to be at our sneakiest.
We spend a day ( we wish ) finding our way around the shopping centre, having lunch or a cup of coffee and looking at all the shops have to offer. Boutiques with their perfectly assembled sales girls, the fresh, polished, manicured beauties at the cosmetic counter and the crisp clean new linen in haberdashery. So much to look at, smell, take in, and touch.
After a day experiencing a fantasy world away from family worries and financial stresses, why would we want to come home to a negative, accusing and judgemental reception!?
I don’t hide my new belongings because I am ashamed of them! I hide them to protect them!
I quite simply am not ready to feel bad about my shopping spree yet.
Later, perhaps at the sight of the bald tyres on my car or when the credit card statement comes in I may feel a pang of guilt but, my own self loathing, not bestowed upon me by another!
I simply want to prolong the high and not be made feel small for my pleasure.
Is that so wrong?
I love shopping!
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